Saturday, October 17, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Enough With The Hitler Crap Already
If I were more actively engaged in Republican Party issues right now, I would be telling anyone and everyone one simple thing:
Enough with the Hitler Crap Already.
There are several main reasons why this is just ridiculous. First, only a select group of adults understands what Hitler was. The rest of the perception is based on ignorance. Second, it's a meaningless, kneejerk term now and the shock has gone out of it. Saying someone, anyone is Hitler is like saying something that illustrates nothing to people. Worst thing you can think of? Hitler. Great, so so-and-so is the worst thing I can think of, he's Hitler, blah blah blah. It has lost all meaning. It's hyperbole, and you cannot connect to people if you're spouting hyperbole. Third, it's a sign of intellectual neglect in the conservative movement. Really? Obama is Hitler? You spent how long thinking that up?
No, here's a thought for you. President Obama is more like what would have happened if George McGovern had won in 1972, and he resembles the worst of liberalism--good intentions masked as some bitter pill we have to swallow to feel better about ourselves. I say that as an example--President Obama is nothing like George McGovern, but I can instantly make people who are knowledgeable think if I make that comparison. I can draw that analogy because it is no where near as extreme as that of comparing Obama to Hitler. It doesn't shock, but it does make one think. What if McGovern had won? What if the stain of Watergate had never really hit the Republican Party the way that it did? It might have been merely the minor scandal of a post-election Washington, with President McGovern trying to finalize the end of Vietnam while bungling cops figure out what happened when the losing Nixon campaign tried to burglarize the Democratic National Committee.
Simply by being reasonable, I can probably make a person think. I can't shock them and grab the simpletons, however. And that is my point--playing to the lowest common denominator is always a losing strategy. Playing to just above the middle, with some humor and confidence thrown in, that's where conservatives should be.
This just makes me roll my eyes:
Most of those there would have called themselves "patriots" (that "don't tread on me" flag was an early symbol of the American Revolution) who argue that their government is betraying traditional principles, CBS News Senior Political Correspondent Jeff Greenfield reports. Steve Butler, a physician from Indian, was handing out copies of the Constitution. "If you read the quotes of Thomas Jefferson, these guys were conservatives and they said that the control should be with the people and not with the big government." Ileana Johnson came to America from Romania 30 years ago:
"I find myself now, every morning when I wake up, what kind of freedom have we lost today?" You could also find plenty of signs of something else -- a rage that identifies President Obama with Adolph Hitler, or Stalin, that questions his citizenship, that seems to celebrate the death of a famous liberal. And among the main currents of the protesters here, a conviction that the media - -FOX News and talk radio excepted -- are deliberately concealing "the truth." It's a charge of bias the networks vigorously deny. But perhaps what most united these protesters was a broader discontent: a sense that they are not being heard, that their interests, and the national interests, are in the hands of a few. Dawn Neuman came from from Texas. "It's all a good old boy network, where they don't care what you think. You know, they're gonna - Everybody's in everybody's bed, you know. In everybody's pocket. And it's who's got the most money. It's all about greed and power."
Jeff, I thought it was Adolf? Something to think about as we bandy the name about.
Anyway, that's fine. You have populism, class envy, ignorance--everything you need to have a bonfire and a broken plate glass window. You don't have anything on which to base a political movement. You have inarticulate rage, but nothing reasonable, focused, legitimate or with potential.
How do you explain the basic ignorance of how supposed conservatives address the writings of Thomas Jefferson?
Jefferson was not a conservative, nor is he anyone a conservative should aspire to emulate. Jefferson was the sworn, blood enemy of a man all conservatives should emulate, and that man was Alexander Hamilton. Left to Jefferson, this would be a cash-poor agrarian backwater governed by pacifists. Thanks to how Hamilton influenced the direction of this country, we go from a client state of France to a world power in a hundred years, roughly, which is the time it took us to get from Jefferson to Theodore Roosevelt. What's more, Jefferson was a believer in the chaos of the French Revolution. Hamilton believed it was just fine to have a King or Queen in England, so long as her commerce was sound and the right of regulated commercial trading and monetary investment could bring measured stability to all nations. Who was proven right in the end? Do we have a dictator in charge of France right now or does a monarch from the Hanover line (screw the name change in 1917) still rule Britannia?
President Obama is no Hitler. Anyone with an education can see that. Any conservative who says there is a connection is intellectually lazy, and cannot expess themselves clearly or rationally. There is no overarching threat to the American way of life--President Obama can serve for eight years and the Republic will endure, just as it has endured through double terms from Bush, Clinton and whoever else. This country is larger than any one man, greater than the sum of its parts, and too smart to fall for that Hitler crap.
Outlaw Bikers or Motorcycle Enthusiasts?
Journalistic malpractice is alive and well:
26 outlaw bikers crash on Oregon freeway
Report: 2 gang members are seriously injured in collision on Interstate 5
msnbc.com staff and news service reportsupdated 35 minutes agoWILSONVILLE, Ore. - More than two dozen motorcycles crashed on a freeway in Oregon on Friday, blocking traffic for hours, police said.
Oregon State Police said the bikers were behind a car when traffic unexpectedly slowed in the northbound lanes on Interstate 5.
The collision sent bikes scattering across the road, near Wilsonville, south of Portland.
Lt. Mike Towner, of Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue, said emergency crews arrived at the scene to find “ordered mayhem.”
The Oregonian reported that two bikers with critical injuries were flown to Portland hospitals by helicopter. The newspaper said the incident, which involved 26 bikers, backed up traffic for about 7 miles.
Rescue personnel said seven other people were treated for shoulder and hip injuries and broken bones.
Most of the victims belonged to the Brother Speed motorcycle club, officials said. The Oregonian reported that the group is identified by the state's Department of Justice as an outlaw biker gang.
Now, I don't know about you, but I am concerned when an "outlaw biker gang" does anything in public. By definition then, these men and their old ladies should be in jail, correct? There's nothing in the story that suggests that the police took any of the "outlaw bikers" into custody. Just because a state agency calls them outlaws doesn't mean that that is a term that should be used to label a group of people who may have been out observing the law and had a misfortune. How about we call them "enthusiasts" in lieu of "outlaw" until we know that all of the members are convicted felons?
As to the question of who is, and who is not, a "badass." As someone who is a badass, by definition, you cannot be a badass if you have to tout your badassery by running afoul of the state Attorney General's office. Real badasses fly under the radar. Wannabes spend all of their running around money on lawyers and court costs. That's how that works.
If the journalists had spent a bit of time looking into this claim, rather than merely being stenographers who take down what the bureaucrats spew, they might have learned this:
OREGON EVENTS
Portland's Spring Oyster Feed 03/01/08 1:00pm Portland House
Benefit for Brother Ty's legal defense fund. Steak Dinner $8.00 donation Live Music 50/50 Door Prizes 05/10/08. Help us free our brother. Open at 2pm. Dinner at 5pm. Band starts at 7pm. Portland House
How many outlaws have a website where they advertise a Spring Oyster feed and try to organize a defense fund for someone they feel has been accused wrongly of breaking the law? The website is obviously out of date, but still. These are some very organized "outlaws."
For historical context, wikipedia will suffice:
An outlaw motorcycle club is a type of motorcycle club that is part of a subculture with roots in the post-WWII USA, centered on cruiser motorcycles, particularly Harley-Davidsons and choppers, and a set of ideals celebrating freedom, nonconformity to mainstream culture, and loyalty to the biker group. The word outlaw carries a specific meaning which does not imply criminal intent, but rather means the club is not sanctioned by the American Motorcyclist Association(AMA) and does not adhere to the AMA's rules, but instead, generally, the club enforces a set of bylaws on its members that derive from the values of the outlaw biker culture. Related to the term outlaw is one percenter, which is also derived from the historical rejection of the AMA and what it represents. Many motorcycle gangs which are considered to be criminal organizations by law enforcement authorities call themselves outlaw motorcycle clubs or one percenters and participate in that subculture, but their actions do not represent all outlaw clubs.
There are non-outlaw groups, like the Harley Owners Group, that adopt similar insignia, colors, organizational structure, and trappings like beards and leather outfits which are typical of outlaw gangs, making it difficult for outsiders to tell the difference. These groups appear to be, ironically, attracted by the mystique of the outlaw image but are offended by the suggestion that they are outlaws.
Brother Speed members consider themselves "one percenters," meaning, they like to raise a little hell now and then.
This constitutes the "legal" problem that the group has had recently:
At 5:33 on the night of the Free Souls party, Eugene police canine unit officer Robert A. Rosales stopped a black Ford Escort not far from the clubhouse. Rosales identified the 38-year-old driver, Paul Askew, as a member of the Outsiders Motorcycle Club and his two passengers as members of the Gypsy Joker and Brother Speed clubs.
Rosales cited Askew for driving with an expired license and patted down the bikers. He searched the Escort's trunk and found boxes of ammo, an unloaded .380-caliber handgun and an Outsiders motorcycle vest with a loaded .22-caliber derringer in the pocket.
They sort of have a problem of definition here--the man is an "outlaw" biker, but he was driving a black Ford Escort? How "badass" can someone be who drives a Ford Escort? Someone who drives a Ford Escort can hardly be considered an "outlaw biker." Wouldn't you, by definition, have to be breaking the law while on your bike to be considered an outlaw biker? You don't go around being a badass in a Ford Escort. You use a Ford Escort to schlep babies and old ladies around, or to maybe go to the mall and have ice cream and buy a Hannah Montana training bra.
Also, you have NBA players who commit more serious crimes while riding their own motorcycles--is the National Basketball Association now an "outlaw" athletic club? It's a little bit of a stretch to condemn everyone in the club because of something that one person has done. If we extend the metaphor, then LeBron James is now a member of a weapons-loving outlaw motorcycle gang, and should now come under the scrutiny of law enforcement. What a farce.
Just because a government agency tells you that these men belong to an "outlaw biker gang" doesn't mean that that is what it is.
X posted at my wonderous and grand little blog that could...
Someone Needs to Get Delonte West Some Help
Cleveland Cavaliers guard Delonte West was arrested Thursday after officers pulled him over for speeding on a motorcycle while carrying two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case.Prince George's County police spokeswoman Sgt. Michelle Reedy said Friday the Cleveland Cavaliers player was arrested about 10 p.m. Thursday.Reedy said West was riding a Can-Am Spyder motorcycle north on the Capital Beltway in Upper Marlboro when he cut off an officer, who pulled him over.Police said a handgun was found in his pocket, another in his pant leg and a shotgun in a guitar case strapped to his back.Reedy said West "was very cooperative, there were no issues" during the incident.The 26-year-old West, who lives in Brandywine, was charged with speeding and weapons counts. It is illegal to carry concealed weapons and to transport loaded guns in Maryland, according to police. Reedy said West was released on his own recognizance early Friday.You could react with either indifference or disgust, and write it off as another offseason setback for a promising young man who has been corrupted by money, fame, or a slight lack thereof. However, a little sympathy is in order:
Last year, West left the Cavaliers' training camp to seek treatment for depression and a "mood disorder" he said he has battled his entire life. At the time, he said he was taking medication and attending therapy sessions. West said his mood problems date to his childhood.West has said his mood swings seem to be most erratic when his life seems to be in order.Now, I don't know about you, but when a young man has sought treatment before he has legal issues, I tend to come down on the side of a someone trying to get their life in order, rather than on the side of someone using mental issues to get out of being caught with guns. He needs more help, rather than condemnation and scorn. No question--he needs to be penalized and held accountable for having a crazy pile of lethal weapons. He needs those items to be taken away from him by a family member or someone who cares about his safety and well being. You don't excuse his conduct, but understanding it doesn't hurt a bit.
Friday, September 18, 2009
This President Is Incapable of Looking Foolish
President Barack Obama September 16, 2009
How is it that President Obama can still look cool? He shall never be defeated. This is why Vladimir Putin still takes his shirt off in public, and poses for photographs. He is afraid of this man.
Blatant Hypocrisy and the Democratic Establishment
The ruins of our democracy are just around the bend
Haven't we been down this road already?
Georgia Rep. John Lewis, one of Washington's most prominent Democrats, called the White House earlier this year to try to block the appointment of a federal prosecutor who won convictions against more than a dozen public officials in Atlanta -- including former Mayor Bill Campbell, a longtime friend and ally of Mr. Lewis.
After queries from The Wall Street Journal, Mr. Lewis' contacted White House Counsel Greg Craig late last month to withdraw his objections to the nomination of the prosecutor, Sally Q. Yates, for U.S. Attorney in Atlanta. Two government officials with knowledge of the matter described the calls.
Within days, the White House forwarded the name of Ms. Yates, currently the senior assistant U.S. Attorney in Atlanta, to the Justice Department for a final round of background checks before she is officially nominated as the top prosecutor for the Northern District of Georgia. Ms. Yates -- if nominated by President Barack Obama as expected -- would require approval by the Senate.
Mr. Lewis declined to comment. A top aide to the congressman said Mr. Lewis's initial lack of support for Ms. Yates had nothing to do with her role in prosecuting Mr. Campbell or other public figures. The aides said the recommendations made by Georgia's congressional delegation were based on candidate qualifications.
There is nothing illegal about a member of Congress expressing opposition to a presidential appointment. But the story of Ms. Yates, 49 years old, illustrates that even after three years of controversy over allegations of partisan meddling in the work of U.S. attorneys during the Bush administration, politics remains part of the selection process.
The Justice Department is still trying to repair damage from the scandal that erupted after Bush administration officials ousted nine U.S. attorney appointees in 2006 to make way for new political favorites.
Kudos to the Obama Administration for blocking the efforts of a highly placed and rather influential Congressman to politicize the Justice Department. Any time liberals want to come down their high horse about the rule of law is fine by me.
There Goes That Biden Again
Senator, the Vice President is here to talk to you about Health Care...
Look, I like Vice President Joe Biden as much as the next person, but I have to ask the question--does this mean they're trying to kill health care reform? Does it mean that they want to screw it up?
Fresh off his trip to Iraq, Vice President Biden will wade deep into the health-care debate next week, according to administration sources.
Biden is slated to give his "first major health policy address" Tuesday to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners and on Wednesday visits the Leisure World retirement community in Silver Spring. On the subject of Obama and health reform, seniors have been the most skeptical age group in the nation. That's a major concern for the White House because retirees vote in large numbers, particularly in mid-term elections. Biden, who will be joined at Leisure World by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius and White House health czar Nancy-Ann DeParle, plans to "talk directly to seniors about how changes in Medicare will not affect them medically and will in fact, strengthen the system," said an aide who was not authorized to be quoted.Biden's higher profile also will also come during a week in which President Obama will turn his focus to foreign policy. Perhaps more importantly, Biden will be reaching out to an array of lawmakers to press the case for bipartisan enactment of a bill that expands insurance coverage and holds down skyrocketing costs. After spending 36 years in the Senate, Biden's role will be less as a health policy expert and more as a peer.
The Vice President, gaffe prone and more oriented towards foreign policy, is a strange choice. Is this desperation? Is this a good idea? That's one that I cannot begin to contemplate.
X posted at the home of the whopper...
Not a Bright Idea, Ladies
Vigilante Force 1976 (What the hell was Kris Kristofferson thinking?)
I'm not going to get on their case too badly--it's a nice idea to hold people accountable for things. But it's better to use Yelp than it is to hand out flyers. It comes down to basic math--the illiteracy rate in America is forty or fifty percent I think. The people with money are on the Internet, reading what people like me have to say on Yelp about businesses that fail to adequately serve our every need.
At some point, someone is going to shut these ladies down:
Adrienne Ferguson, co-founder of Alibis and Paybacks
Adrienne Ferguson had retribution on her mind as she made her way along West Jefferson Boulevard clutching a stack of papers.She wasn't reacting to a perceived injustice done to her. She was taking action for a stranger who claims to have a beef with the C&H Auto Center, a small automobile body shop down the street.Ferguson and a partner operate Alibis & Paybacks, a Los Angeles firm that describes itself as "the ultimate revenge" service, offering paybacks both large and small.For a fee, for instance, the pair will publicly denounce and embarrass someone or some business, peppering their target's workplace or neighborhood with fliers that colorfully describe the individual's purported malfeasance.That's how C&H Auto Center owner Mario Dorantes ended up in Ferguson's sights.For the flier targeting the shop, Ferguson used sugar as a metaphor, borrowing the C&H Sugar logo to assert that her client had been left "bitter" by his experience there. In earthy language, the flier alleged that the shop cheats its customers, something Dorantes strongly denies.Ferguson and three helpers distributed 100 of the leaflets in a one-block radius around the West Adams district shop. The volunteers -- her 11-year-old son, Jordan Green, and friend Mimi Valentine and her daughter, Geraye, 12 -- placed the fliers on car windshields, behind mailboxes and at front porch doors.Ferguson and partner Michelle Duke have conducted 20 such "payback blasts" for clients around Los Angeles since launching their business earlier this year.The two longtime friends from the Baldwin Hills came up with the idea when Ferguson lost her receptionist job and the pair sat down to talk about how they could earn some extra money. Friends and family had long turned to Ferguson and Duke when they needed help pulling a friendly prank, so the women thought they could turn this skill into a business.
"Friendly pranks" lead to screaming and gunfire, not business opportunities. Ladies, this is not how you get to be famous the right way. How smart was it to give an interview to the LA Times, then use your real names, then admit that you're acting in a way very similar to retail business vigilantes, and then let them take pictures of you, walking around like a hot mess, putting up flyers in broad daylight?
Stamping out Go Go in Washington D.C.
See any Go Go Music Here? Tell Mayor Fenty that you want him to continue to destroy Go Go music
I rather enjoy it when a major metropolitan area uses the full weight of government repression and regulation to eradicate a musical genre. We could have used this kind of assistance when alt-country was getting started up. Someone could have used zoning permits and health code inspections to shut down emo, sir. Washington D.C. has thirty or forty different styles of club hip hop and whatnot--much of it relying on seductive hip shakes and well constructed rhymes. Crushing these styles falls to bureaucrats and politicians because the kids can't do everything.
District Mayor Adrian Fenty announced Thursday that a Masonic lodge in Northeast is no longer permitted to be rented out as a music venue on weekends, blaming it for several violent incidents.
Fenty announced the closure of Most Worshipful King Solomon Grand Lodge at a news conference Thursday. He was joined by Attorney General Peter Nickles, D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier and DCRA director Linda Argo.The Lodge has long rented the hall out on weekends as a live music venue. Neighborhood residents had complained about these events, specifically Go-Go concerts, that allegedly led to "repeated instances of disorderly and violent conduct", according to the mayor's office.Chief Lanier said the department had received 114 requests for police service within 1,000 feet of Solomon Lodge in the first 7 and a half months of the year, including complaints about noise, public urination and illegal parking.
Now, one man's "disorderly conduct" is another man's attempt at dancing on moving cars while high on angel dust--something I can relate to, most definitely.
I ghost ride the whip, not especially well, but I've been doing it for forty years. I have always enjoyed getting out of the car and dancing or marching beside it while it rolls forward in gear, something that is almost impossible to do with a standard transmission. When I got my first automatic transmission car in the late 1970s, it was like a Godsend. I was able to snack and walk next to the rolling car while musical tunes played, I loved it. The kids would ride in the back seat and laugh and giggle whenever the car would hop a curb or hit a telephone pole. One of my favorite memories is of the boys being tumbled in the back of the car when it hit a retaining wall at ten miles an hour--they weren't hurt that badly and everyone thought it was fun to go to the emergency room and lie to the doctors and Johnny Law about how Daddy was unable to stop the car when it "magically" slipped into gear.
Mayor Fenty is up against some tough proponents of Go Go, however:
The senior citizens who leased their hall to Go Go bands say they never had any problems with the kids who came to party."We don't rent out to nobody that's a thugs or anything like that," said Luther Parker.Party-goer Kevin McGill says he will miss his Saturday night visits. He thinks the neighbors will regret getting the Lodge's license to party revoked."You got a hundred fifty kids in here, you got a hundred fifty kids off the streets, not robbing, stealing cars, shooting, fighting none of that," McGill said.Fenty said D.C. police met with lodge owners last month to discuss security upgrades, but none was implemented. Chief Lanier said police have had to deploy extra officers on weekends to the area.
I think it comes down to this--Mayor Fenty can't stand Go Go, and he's trying to stamp it out so that his own brand of funk and hip-hop can gain popularity. I don't know that he espouses his own musical genre--perhaps he's figured out how to weld some jazzy be-bop to a straight latin beat, I don't know. I do know this--Go Go can never be stamped out. It's too popular. It's everywhere:
[Embedded video is on my site; I have to go look up the Posterous FAQ on embedding video when I have some time...]
Now, could it be that Mayor Fenty resents the implication that Washington D.C. is welcoming bitches, rather than accepting new citizens of upstanding character? If I was mayor, would I want bitches showing up, gunking up the sidewalks and the Senior Citizen facilities? Probably not.
Good luck, Mr. Mayor. If you successfully crush Go Go, you'll be a man among men.
Anita Dark is Safe For Work
Anita Dark has a gallery here...
Anita Dark
Anita Dark
Anita Dark
Anita Dark
Anita Dark
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Inarticulate Rage and the Rise of New Militias
Ever notice that surfers generally don't join armed militias?
I don't believe that there is a new wave of actual "militia" organizing. It seems too inarticulate for that. But, perhaps, being inarticulate is where a new wave of militia organizing starts. Perhaps it is being created in a void where people cannot express their opposition through a political party. The Republican Party has been good at stoking ignorance and fear lately, not so good at articulating where we need to go and why conservative values matter in a time when conservatism has been discredited by a series of turns of event. There are no leaders left, just unimaginative followers. Pick the ten most senior Republican Senators, and you have a who's who of the also-rans in American political life. I'm loathe to admit it, but there was a time when these people could have been rock stars. Now, they're just stumblebums.
The Los Angeles Times tries to get to the heart of who and what the new militias look like. Perhaps, in the case of the Oath Keepers, and in the context of this one example, the new militias are a bit small and disorganized to really matter. Rand Cardwell is the organizer at the center of this story, and, as an ex-Marine and laid off worker, tries to convince his fellow Americans of a few key points:
The first order of business was a recent report from the Southern Poverty Law Center, which called the Oath Keepers -- which claims more than 1,000 members nationwide -- a "particularly worrisome example" of a "virulently antigovernment 'Patriot' movement" that has been reinvigorated, in part, by the fact that the president is black.The center documented angry videos that had been posted on the Oath Keepers website; in one of them, a man called Obama an "enemy of the state."Cardwell betrayed only a hint of the exasperation that this line of criticism stirs in him. Nothing, he said, could be further from the truth. He served side by side in the Corps with African Americans. One of his best friends is a black guy."Our goal," he said, "is to support and defend the Constitution, and that's where it begins and ends at. . . . We're not a hate group. We're not a racist group. We're not calling for armed revolt against the government."Founded this year by Stewart Rhodes, a Yale-educated lawyer and former staffer of Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas), the group calls itself nonpartisan and features on its website a 1776 quote from George Washington warning of an incipient moment that would determine whether Americans will be "Freemen, or Slaves; whether they are to have any property they can call their own; whether their Houses, and Farms, are to be pillaged and destroyed.""Such a time," the site says, "is near at hand again."That kind of sentiment helps explain the disconnect that has come to define popular political discourse in Obama's first tumultuous year.A vociferous group of Americans is warning that the country is not just headed in the wrong direction -- but over a cliff. They are mainstream media commentators, like Fox News' Glenn Beck. They are religious leaders, like "Bible Answer Man" Hank Hanegraaff, who told radio listeners last month that "socialism and fascism" were "slipping quietly through the back door."
Now, if you wanted to raise money by stoking fear, you'd do so with the intent of whipping up as much outrage--and, thusly, donations--as possible. There are several things to keep in mind. First, President Obama's popularity and win at the polls no doubt stoked a lot of resentment, and much of it racial. This created a feeling among those people who voted for and supported Republicans. One day, it's 2004 and you're with the winning team and conservatism is in the ascendancy. The next day, it's 2008 and everything has crashed to the ground. Second, you add on top of that widespread unemployment and the loss of home values and retirement savings. This creates a need to replace or restore the standard of living that has been lost. A savvy person could then take the inarticulate resentment of fellow unemployed neighbors and figure out how to draw in a few bucks organizing groups designed to give these disconnected people a voice. Third, there will always be ignorant morons who want to believe anything. Remember that show The X-Files? It was awful. But, people watched it, even though the entire premise of the show was, we're going to piss you off by treating you as if you're so stupid, you can't figure out that all we want to do is put out show after show that never satisfies your desire to know what's going on, meanwhile, bend over so we can sell you crap.
Add to that another phenomenon that has happened--the demise of social and service clubs. There are definitely fewer and fewer people joining service clubs, like the Kiwanis, the Elks, the Moose, The Eagles, The Lions, the Jaycees, the Sertoma Club, the Shriners, the Knights of Columbus and--who did I leave out? The Bats? The Balls? The What? The American Legion? The VFW? The Little Sisters of the Poor? This cuts people off from being connected to communities. Say you're an out of work fellow, and you go to your VFW Hall, and, while getting drunk, someone mentions, oh, down at so-and-so's, they're hiring. So, you sober up, you put on some deodorant, you find your best T-shirt, and you go down and apply and, just like that, you're in the money. Twitter and Facebook don't really replace the Sertoma Club, to be frank about it. They just waste your time with SPAM and idiots like myself who post blog links to things we write when we're bored watching Peej clean the Czech machine guns.
What I see above is inarticulate rage. It could very well become nasty out there. Violent and hateful, or it could simmer and go on a slow boil. Hucksters, desperate people, no jobs, no connection to communities--these are all things that could create a perfect storm out there for the ignorant to thrive.
When Woeful Stories Make Me Remember Obscure Movie Scenes
The Breakfast Club
When I was reading this, something clicked:
Dave Duncanson still isn't used to being on his feet all day.
The head custodian at Stoney Creek High School starts his day at 4 p.m. by logging onto a computer, reading a series of building reports and assigning cleaning tasks to his subordinates. Then he must march through dimly lit hallways to clean his designated area: the principal's offices, the counselor's wing and the media center. For hours each weeknight, he can be found pulling trash from bins, vacuuming carpets, putting desks and chairs back in place.
"I sweep floors. I mop bathrooms. I clean up puke," says Mr. Duncanson.
The job pays $15.05 an hour and comes with a pension and benefits. In that sense, Mr. Duncanson, 49 years old, feels fortunate. But the story of how he got here offers a window into the deteriorating economy of Michigan, once a bastion of middle-class prosperity, and the plight of tens of thousands of white-collar workers who have been displaced by the near-collapse of the domestic auto industry.
Less than a year ago, Mr. Duncanson was working a few miles away in Auburn Hills, at a desk on the fourth floor of Chrysler's tech center. There, he was a product-development manager making $109,000 a year in salary. At his current job, he'll make less than a third of that.
"At first, I just wanted to do something to bring in money," says Mr. Duncanson, who had spent eight and a half years at Chrysler and took a buyout last November as the company slid toward bankruptcy. "I figured things would bounce back."
Oh, come on. How much puke can there really be? And, if there's a lot of puke to clean up, then someone should assess what they're feeding those kids. I'm reminded of the janitor who gives the teenagers their comeuppance in "the Breakfast Club." By dint of his expert use of basic intelligence gathering techniques, he was able to assess the thoughts and emotions of the students and gain the upper hand, thereby depriving said students of their ability to "dis" him and put him in his place. No mere toilet scrubber was he--this particular custodian had access to bits of information that he could reassemble or combine with other pieces to form a clear picture of the intent of his adversaries, and he was holding it back in case he needed it for some future purpose. He held back because he knew that there were limits to his powers, but those limits were rapidly eroding as time went on.
I don't know about you, but I happen to think that I'm brilliant.
The Real Predators Are Still Out There
Predators? Coming for me? Oh, my!
I speak of the mortgage industry, which is rife with greedy men in suits from Sears who want to "repackage" your mortgage and hand you back something you can swallow. What they end up doing is creating a nightmare package of sliding interest rates, phoney-baloney consolidation, and a balloon payment that would make a banker flush with envy.
Your government realized a while back that it wasn't enough to simply offer a bailout when everyone and their other brother Darrel lost their shirts when their homes plummeted in value. It had to do something about repackaged loans and mortgages, toxic assets, credit default swaps, unfair lending practices--you know, all that stuff that generally gets people to stop reading your uncle Norman by the time we get to the third word in the para. Tim Geithner still has a job largely because the American people can now be lulled to sleep when financial matters come up. Decades of network television has turned their percolating brains to goopy, clinging mush. What's that about hedge funds? I want to know what the girl with the nice boobies did when she got out of her car, not this boring stuff. Boo! Boo!
A dwindling remnant of smart people--basically, you and me--know what's really going on, and the FTC is now realizing that the predators are starting to weave in and out of the neighborhoods full of gasping, sick mortgages. They're plucking the stuff that is ripe, as well as gathering up all of that low hanging fruit:
Federal authorities are cracking down on two companies that promised homeowners help with their mortgages, accusing them of posing as government agencies.
The Federal Trade Commission on Thursday said it filed charges against two companies — Nations Housing Modification Center and Infinity Group Services. It accused the companies of charging homeowners large fees for assistance in working with their lenders, but did "little or nothing" to actually help borrowers.
Federal regulators have filed charges against a total of 22 such operators. And in Washington, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Attorney General Eric Holder met with attorneys general from 12 states to discuss anti-fraud efforts.
Just the twelve states? Sorry, fraud is prevalent out there. Homeowners are getting the shaft a second, third and fourth time. People are still buying homes with shifty mortgages and barely enough credit, but in much smaller numbers. Many more are walking away from homes that are upside down.
Back in July, I told you about a thing called PennyMac:
While the individuals who left Countrywide to start PennyMac may, in fact, be on the up-and-up, what savvy investor would trust them to effectively manage that company? I've heard of letting the fox guard the henhouse; this is akin to letting the fox pick what fat chickens to put in a secret henhouse for late night snacks. I'm not cynical enough to bet on their cozy relationship with a corrupt Congress to bail them out a second time.
When you create the kind of financial turmoil that Countrywide was responsible for, you should thusly be disqualified from profiting on the misery you created. They're simply going to find troubled Countrywide properties (really, any troubled or miserable mortgage) and work their financial bailout charms and continue trading in toxic, worthless assets. This is the kind of debt repackaging that doesn't solve the structural problems of the mortgage industry. Will it keep a living soul in the home they cannot afford? Perhaps. But is that a solution to anything? I highly doubt it.
That's right--a bunch of employees left Countrywide, a leading purveyor of toxic mortgages and refinancing schemes, so that they could start up a company called PennyMac--
Private National Mortgage Acceptance Company, LLC (PNMAC) is a specialty asset management firm created to address the dislocations in the U.S. mortgage market. Through our licensed and registered subsidiaries, our focus is acquiring and managing residential mortgage assets on behalf of private investors.
Our company is managed by a team of mortgage industry veterans led by Stanford L. Kurland, and is based in Calabasas, California. PNMAC’s strategic partners are BlackRock and Highfields Capital.
PNMAC is bringing to the market fresh capital from long-term investors, as one step in addressing the U.S. mortgage crisis.
Through our licensed and registered subsidiaries, we acquire loans from financial institutions seeking to reduce their mortgage exposures. PNMAC creates value for both borrowers and investors through our distinctive approach to asset management. Our strategy is to keep borrowers in their homes by avoiding foreclosures through programs that address both their ability and willingness to pay their mortgages.
PennyMac has, thus far, eluded the "shit list" of evil doers issued by the Federal Trade Commission.
A sampling of what they are trying to shut down:
The FTC has obtained a preliminary injunction halting the allegedly deceptive practices of United Credit Adjusters Inc., The Loan Modification Shop, Ltd., and their principals, and freezing their assets, pending a trial. The Commission recently filed an amended complaint in this matter, adding as defendants The Loan Modification Shop, Ltd. and Casey Lynn Cohen, also known as Casey Lynn Collins, alleging that they and one of the original defendants, Ezra Rishty, misrepresented that they would help consumers obtain a mortgage loan modification or stop foreclosure in all or virtually all instances.
The FTC’s original complaint, filed in February 2009, charged seven corporate and three individual defendants with falsely promising to remove negative information from consumers’ credit reports (even information that is accurate and current), charging an up-front fee, and failing to provide written disclosures. (see March 17, 2009, press release http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/03/unitedcredit.shtm.) The original defendants are United Credit Adjusters, Inc., doing business as United Credit Adjustors and UCA; United Credit Adjustors, Inc., d/b/a United Credit Adjusters and UCA; United Counseling Association, Inc., d/b/a UCA; Bankruptcy Masters Corp., National Bankruptcy Services Corp., Federal Debt Solutions, Ltd., United Money Tree, Inc., and Ahron E. Henoch, Ezra Rishty, and Gerald Serino, also known as Jerry Serino.
The Commission vote authorizing the staff to file the amended complaint was 4-0. The amended complaint was filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of New Jersey on August 4, 2009. The court entered a preliminary injunction as to all of the defendants on September 1, 2009.
The FTC has obtained preliminary injunctions halting the allegedly deceptive practices of Loss Mitigation Services and its principals, pending a trial. Primarily through direct mail solicitation, the defendants allegedly targeted consumers whose mortgage payments have increased, who have made late payments, and whose homes were in foreclosure. They charged up to $5,500 in advance and promised that a loan modification was assured or virtually assured if consumers hired them. The defendants also misrepresented that they were a department of, or affiliated with, the consumer’s lender or mortgage servicer. In many cases, they failed to obtain loan modifications for consumers, some of whom lost their homes while waiting for the promised results.
Again, even though PennyMac isn't on this list, what are the chances that they're operating entirely within the rules and the limits of common decency? What are the chances that the same group of people who helped run Countrywide into the ground have changed their ways? How long before they show up on the FTC's radar? And are they not showing up on it because of PennyMac's links to the people who should have been paying attention to what Countrywide was doing?
Nothing has changed all that much. The little guy is taking it in the shorts, especially the little guy who doesn't have the common sense to find it with both hands. We are well past the day when someone, anyone, should have put a stop to this. American Capitalism is the finest economic system in the history of man--the wealth of American citizens has increased by two trillion dollars--and yet, we have a mortgage system that works about as well and about as honestly as a three card monte table behind the cheapest whorehouse in town.
Don't get me wrong--I love whorehouses. I adore them. I just wouldn't sign papers to consolidate an out-of-control home loan drafted up by a mortgage lender who operates from a card table behind one.
Yanking the Rug Out From Under the Czechs and the Poles
Old Town Square, Prague, Czech Republic
I don't have a problem with ending missile defense--the technology is suspect and we don't have the bucks for it. If you're going to cut spending, you might as well cut things that don't work. U.S. Department of Education, anyone?
This is a bit of a foreign policy problem, however:
President Obama has decided to abandon plans for a long-range missile defense system based in Poland and the Czech Republic that had been embraced by the administration of former president George W. Bush, possibly shifting to a shorter-range, sea-based system, officials said Thursday.
Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Gen. James Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff, will hold a mid-morning news briefing at the Pentagon to detail what officials described as a "major" change in the missile defense program.
The Bush-era plan to place interceptor missiles in Poland and a radar system in the Czech Republic had been cheered by the governments of the two Eastern Europe countries, but had deeply angered Russian leaders. Arms-control analysts had speculated in recent weeks that Obama might consider a sea-launched or other missile defense system that wasn't based permanently in Eastern Europe to counter the potential Iranian threat.
"We will announce that we are making a major adjustment to our European missile defense system that is designed to protect our forces and our friends in Europe from the growing Iranian short- and medium term missile threat," said Geoff Morrell, the Pentagon press secretary.
A decision to scrap the missile shield would represent a major break from Obama's predecessor. It was expected to raise the ire of some Republicans in Congress who have been strong defenders of the system as a way to counter a potential Iranian nuclear attack.
Kudos to the President for standing up to our procurement nightmare and our out-of-control defense spending for technology that, sadly, simply won’t work the way we need it to. The road to fiscal sanity is paved with making cuts where we can cut.
I don’t subscribe to the theory that this is an appeasement of Russia—Russia has a rapidly diminishing military and a population decline that all but ensures that it will never be able to sustain a land invasion of Western Europe, which is what those of us who followed the Cold War believed inevitable. What the lack of little babushkas cannot finish off, sweet vodka from a plastic bottle in a crumbling sack will finish for us. Das vadanya, comrade. Sorry about your glorious empire. Pull up your pants when you’re done urinating on your pile of worthless currency—you’re embarrassing yourself in full view of the Kremlin.
What this does do, foreign policy wise, is remove the Czechs and Poles from a position of being defense partners with us, and that’s really what missile defense was going to accomplish, even if it didn’t work. It would have allowed us to form a relationship with the defense establishment in those two countries that might have paid off in a future alliance. With cemented ties to the Czechs and Poles, who’s to say they wouldn’t have been willing to help us with possible future issues with Belarus, a violent upheaval in the Ukraine, a resurgence of Serbian nationalism in the Balkans, or some other foreign misadventure? The Poles coughed up troops for Iraq until they got wise. More friends, more partners, more cooperation—who could complain about that?
The key to transforming American foreign policy was the establishment of working relationships with as many diverse partners as possible. President Obama has yanked away one chance to work closely with the Czechs and Poles. I hope he has a couple of others in mind and can forge similar relationships or find something to replace what we are discontinuing.
Max Baucus gets no love from the people he's trying to screw.
Poor Senator Max Baucus. He gets no love from the people he's trying to screw.
Ezra Klein was hired at the Washington Post to sort things like this out. He sort of gets it, but he made a mistake, so he had to revise his post, and that's fine. The problem is--does anyone really understand the legislation? Klein tries:
Baucus's bill retains the noxious "free rider" provision on employers. Rather than a simple employer mandate that forces every employer over a certain size to provide health-care insurance or pay a small fee, the free rider approach penalizes employers for hiring low-income workers who are eligible for subsidies. That will create an incentive to do one of two things: Don't hire low-income workers (hire a teenager looking for a job rather than a single mother, or hire a housewife looking for a second job rather than an unemployed breadwinner), or hire illegal immigrants.
And it actually gets worse. The employer pays more if the low-income worker needs subsidies for his family as opposed to just himself. So it not only discriminates against low-income workers, but it particularly discriminates against low-income parents. Single mothers will get the worst deal, as they have lower incomes, and as you might expect, children who need health care.
The penalty itself is a bit confusing, and if anything, even worse than one might imagine: The employer will pay the lesser of A) the average subsidy in the exchange times the number of subsidized workers or B) $400 times the total number of workers. Two examples should clarify this:
Baucus Corp has 100 employees and does not offer health-care coverage. Thirty of the employees receive subsidies on the exchange. The average subsidy that year is $5,000. Baucus Corp woulds pay $400 times 100 employees, as $40,000 is less than $150,000 ($5,000 times 30 employees). Each of those low-income employees is costing Baucus Corp $1,333 more than an employee who didn't need subsidies.
Well, whatever. I take it the Baucus bill is not viable to keep down costs for small business. I favor health care reform precisely because small businesses can expand and thrive if the onus of paying for employee health care is taken out of their lane.
Some inside baseball stuff, also from the Washington Post:
On the surface, it appears that no one is happy with Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) -- and that may be the best news President Obama has had in months.
Within minutes of the release of the Senate Finance Committee chairman's long-awaited health-care reform bill Wednesday, the attacks started flying. Liberal Democrats and allies, particularly labor unions, fumed. Republicans, after being courted for months, denounced the work as pure partisanship.
But behind the rhetorical fireworks was a sense that the fragile coalition of major industry leaders and interest groups central to refashioning the nation's $2.5 trillion health-care system remains intact. As they scoured the 223-page document, many of the most influential players found elements to dislike, but not necessarily reasons to kill the effort. Most enticing was the prospect of 30 million new customers.
At the White House, after the delays and drama of summer, strategists spoke finally of movement and a possible path toward success on the president's centerpiece domestic policy goal. To keep up the pressure, Obama met with three lawmakers who had warned they would not support the Baucus bill.
Sen. John D. Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.), who is upset that Baucus did not include a public health insurance option, tempered his criticism after a private meeting with Obama, signaling that he hopes to work out a compromise.
"Nothing is clearer than the president's commitment to providing affordable and effective health care for all Americans, and he and I are united in our efforts to deliver on this promise," he said.
The pressure is on to fall in line and eat the bitter pill, I guess. Who knows? Are these anecdotes about who is saying what to whom accurate? Or are they calculated leaks to pressure others?
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid played to his hometown crowd:
No sooner than the Senate Finance Committee's chairman released his long-awaited health care bill today than Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said it's not good enough for Nevada.
Reid is concerned about the cash-poor state's inability to boost Medicaid spending as would be required under the bill.
“While this draft bill is a good starting point, it needs improvement before it will work for Nevada," Reid said in a statement. "During this time of economic crisis, our state cannot afford to shoulder the second highest increase in Medicaid funding."
Reid said he received assurance from the chairman, Sen. Max Baucus of Montana, that the formula would be changed before the bill goes to committee next week.
"I spoke to the Chair of the Finance Committee and he assured me that this bill will be improved for Nevada," Reid said.
"Let me be very clear, I will not bring a health insurance reform bill to the Senate floor that is not good for Nevada.”
What else would you expect him to say? Screw you Nevada, I'm up for re-election next year (I believe), and you can go pound sand?
This is the best analysis so far:
Let's review the loudest gripers:
1) Republicans.
All of them. Sen. Olympia Snowe was considered the only major Republican with cross-over potential to rescue the Democrats hopes of bipartisanship, but she has reportedly "left the building" on health care reform. That means reform will have to rely exclusively on the votes of Democrats in the Senate. Expect major hand-wringing over a potential filibuster and the procedural straitjacket of budget reconciliation in the next few weeks.2) Unions.
This we knew going in. The Baucus plan has no employer mandate, no public option, and a tax on expensive insurance plans which will be passed along to employees. This makes unions nervous because it means rates go up and as rates go up, some employees might feel tempted to drop coverage altogether. That makes unions very angry, and angry unions are very bad news for...3) Liberal politicians.
Sen. Jay Rockefeller, a public option hard-liner from West Virginia, is apoplectic about the idea of taxing insurance benefits, which currently enjoy tax-free status. He sees health care costs soaring for coal miners in his state, and has even threatened to not vote for the bill. My gut tells me this has to be an empty threat, but it highlights a growing concern for Democrats -- the erosion of their left-wing support. Update: Sen. Bob Casey is also miffed about the missing public option.4) Governors.
The Baucus bill expands Medicaid coverage to all individuals making less than $14K and all families making less than $29K. This expansion is a crucial step toward universal coverage because, as TIME reports, low-income adults earning under $33K per family make up half the uninsured. Who exactly pays for all that new health care is a tricky question. But since Medicaid costs will be shared by states and the federal government over time, many governors are duly concerned that even as they struggle to hold together budgets after this recession passes, they will be hit with "unfunded mandates"to help cover the poor for generations. 5) The Strong Universal Coverage Folks.
Baucus' plan costs less than $900 billion over 10 years, whereas the House's version costs more than $1 trillion. That's a good thing, right? Well, not exactly. If your first goal in health care reform is to cover all Americans, than you're probably looking for a bill that extends Medicaid over the poverty line (about $10K/yr) and offers robust subsidies up to 3X the poverty line to help individuals and families without employer-provided care to buy their own coverage. I've read a lot of estimates that put that number just north of one trillion dollars. So when a fiscal hawk sees $860 billion, he might breathe a sigh of relief, but anything less than 10 figures will stress out the social welfare crowd.6) Insurers, Device Makers and Labs
Some good reporting from the Times' prescription blog (and Atlantic Politics) finds insurers, device makers and labs screaming to their lobbyist groups and congresspeople about new cuts.That matters politically because many medical device and technology companies are based in Indiana and Minnesota, home to three Democratic senators: Amy Klobuchar and Al Franken of Minnesota and moderate budget hawk Evan Bayh of Indiana.
The shock of the lightning has hit, now everyone is scrambling for cover. They are all going to roll over and accept what they're being given--going back and starting over isn't going to fly because of how many people are up for re-election next year. The public option is all but dead. Anything they resurrect won't actually be the public option--it will be a band-aid on a broken arm. The Congress has been beaten up enough, in their mind. They want this solved, off the table, and in the rear view mirror before Thanksgiving, I suspect, so that a lot of the anger can subside.
Here's your baloney sammich, people of America. Enjoy. Next year, maybe you can have good government. For now? For now, you get nothing.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Mike Celizic Goes Off The Reservation
Is there still time to stop Lane Kiffin and the Tennessee Volunteers from going down to Florida this weekend? I mean before something happens that will make Serena Williams’ little tantrum look like a Barry Manilow concert?The reason I say this is that the planets don’t seem to be favorably aligned for the volatile (that’s a nice word for ‘loose cannon’) Kiffin to be taking an inferior team down to play the man he spent the winter insulting, Gators coach Urban Meyer.Normally, I’d say let him go and take an extra notebook to the game. But bad behavior is in the air, and I’m not sure we want to rely on a football coach — even one as upstanding as Meyer says he is — to keep his team from venting their spleen on Kiffin and the Vols, not after Kiffin committed the original playground sin of dissing the mighty Gators.[I'll cut out the boring crap--jeez, how do you inject Serena Williams and Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame Acceptance Speech into a column about SEC football?]This qualifies as an epidemic. And now we have two large groups of relatively unsophisticated kids who still believe being dissed is the greatest insult any person can absorb getting ready to play a game based on violence.
Oh, that wasn't racist, now was it? "Unsophisticated" kids? What, are they still eating cornbread and wearing half-buttoned coveralls with no shirt on underneath? Are they still working on the farm? Being "dissed" is the greatest insult? Show your playground smack talk appreciation colors much?Celizic does both teams a great disservice--this is big time college football, and he treats these young men like the only thing separating them from pork and beans on a paper plate is the finger in their mouth. Do you know how smart you have to be to play football at that level? I'm not talking just book smart, I'm talking, playbook smart, practice smart, and being able to react quickly under duress smart. Where does he get the idea that two teams, playing Division I football in, arguably, the toughest football conference in the nation, are a bunch of "unsophisticated kids?" That strikes me as being as wrong as anything I've heard out of this clown and he should apologize to those kids for saying that. Beyond that, Celizic, again, being America's Worst Sportswriter, forgets that there is one basic tenet of college football, and perhaps football as a whole, and that is, the zebras control the game. They control a game that is violent, that can end in tragedy, with a young man paralyzed or even, God forbid, dead, and with rare exception, they maintain that control because that is the only thing separating sportsmanship from chaos.As soon as someone gets out of hand, the referees will throw someone out of the game in order to demonstrate their control of the situation. As soon as it appears that neither team is listening, the punitive and nit-picky calls are going to start and the laundry is coming out and someone is going to be backed up against their own goal line while looking up at the numbers spinning on the scoreboard. That's how a message will be delivered to both teams--we're in charge out here, coach, and you'd better get control of your fine young men.Now, if Celizic thinks an Urban Meyer coached team is going to allow itself to break down and give up 21 points in the first quarter over personal fouls, roughing the passer penalties, and boneheadedness, fine--keep cashing those MSNBC.COM checks.Lane Kiffin is only now realizing that you don't give your conference opponents bulletin board material. You don't act like a jackass in the SEC until you start winning on a regular basis, and even then, you only do that if you're trying to line up an NFL coaching gig.This weekend could be a huge bust. Florida might collapse. Tennessee might lose by 28. Either way, don't dog on the kids playing the game.
Now, THAT'S a Web Archive
People ask me all the time, why are you "an American Lion?"
No idea. Sounded good at the time. That's really the long and short of it. I had to come up with something, and so that's what I blurted out. Snap decisions are my lifeblood. I don't think about anything. There's no "plan" and there's no "long game" when it comes to life. I am a man of action. By the time I get to the end of this, I'm on to something else.
Whilst perusing some search results to determine if there is still a mountain lion problem in Orange County, California, I stumbled across this website:
Volume 3 (Number 3) Fall 1994 If you see a large cat with a long tail that stands about three feet tall and weighs between 120 and 160 pounds, this is NOT an overgrown house cat. This is a mountain lion (Felis concolor). It is also called a cougar or puma. With the exponential human population growth and urban sprawl in southern California during the past 30 years, the native habitat of these large cats has been gradually reduced. Each year, thousands of acres of land that was once the hunting grounds for these cats is converted into housing developments, avocado orchards and roads. In fact, many vast hillsides of coastal sage scrub and chaparral have been dissected into isolated little "islands" bordered on all sides by freeways, roads, residential tracts and shopping centers. These basically timid cats are now forced to travel through residential neighborhoods and vacant fields during the hours of darkness to find food. Although they once had vast lands to roam in, they are now being confined to a few, small, isolated rural areas which have not been destroyed by greedy land developers.
The WAYNE'S WORD
Mountain Lion Edition:
- Are Mountain Lions A Threat To Hikers In Southern California?
- The Proper Protocol If You Encounter One Of These Large Cats?
- What Not To Do If You Meet One Of These Ferocious Felines
Photo courtesy of Microsoft Plus "Dangerous Creatures" wallpaper.
How often do you find yourself staring at a web page that is fifteen years old? I just thought that was pretty nifty.
This is Not How You Want to Get Your Name Into the Papers
Thank goodness for White Trash. Without them, we wouldn't have anything to write about, now would we? When it comes to celebrities or crime, current events or politics, white trash and the shenanigans they get themselves into are always fodder for blog posts.
Case in point--the entire state of Florida. Without it, someone would have to invent a place where all the crazy, shirtless people could go for their daily dose of mayhem, petty theft, and illicit public sex.
Some dingbat in Savannah, Georgia, which is pretty close to Florida, when you think about it, got a little creative with her personal affairs:
A woman who stole fuel and a bag of Cheetos from a Pooler convenience store claimed she was the wife of Gov. Sonny Perdue when confronted by a clerk, according to police.
The female suspect pumped a little more than 15 gallons of gas, worth $37, into a white Ford Explorer at the Clyde's Market on U.S. 80 near Pooler Parkway shortly after noon Friday, according to a report of the incident.
She then went inside, picked up the Cheetos bag and offered a check and debit card, but both payment modes were declined, police reported.
The clerk asked how the customer would pay, to which the woman "said she was the governor's wife," and "then started to whisper into her phone, stating she was talking to the FBI," according to the incident report.
The woman then collected her purse from the counter and the Cheetos - valued at $1.29 - before driving off, police reported.
Based on a description given by the clerk, officers later tracked a possible suspect to a residence not far from the gas station, but it was not immediately clear if an arrest had been made.
No, of course not--she bamboozled them. She outwitted Johnny Law and she got away with it. That's because she's that rarest of commodities--a one-woman white trash master criminal on a tri-state kill spree, involving Cheetohs and gas. If she isn't famous by sundown, then I don't want to believe in anything anymore.
What I don't understand is, how the hell does a gas station in Savannah survive by allowing customers to pump their gas BEFORE requiring payment? That seems like a recipe for disaster to me.
X posted at my amazing blog on celebrity and notoriety...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Calm Down About Glenn Beck, People
Glenn Beck is not going to seduce the ladies and build his own harem, sir
The Los Angeles Times is one of my favorite places nowadays. I love their format, their forums, the comments are always moderated, and the bloggers there are West Coast, baby, West Coast. That means, relaxed, smart and happy. Read any East Coast bloggers lately? Morose, frightened, lugubrious and horrified at the idea that anyone in Booneville, Middle America might call them on their shrill nonsense. I put the LA Times on my celebrity blog because it makes things light and fun. I rarely delve into politics there, but here goes.
This article gets a little hysterical, however:
Recently Times columnist Steve Lopez went in searchof fans of Glenn Beck, the Fox News personality who has garnered a large viewership since moving from CNN but has lost dozens of sponsorsafter he called President Obama a racist.
Lopez found a Santa Clarita group on the Internet that claimed to have 82 members, most of whom were united through Beck's TV program, which served as a rallying call against the Obama administration. Of that group was a 20-year-old woman who promised that they "will win this fight against radicalism."
Another woman wrote on the group's website, "I love my God, family and country and want to save this country from ruin."
Lopez met a man named Jason Hole, the Beck meet-up group's organizer. Hole has his differences with the Beck, but is more concerned with what he feels the Obama administration has in store for conservatives like himself. "I'm a hard-working American guy that wants to be able to worship Jesus Christ, go shooting, say what I want and enjoy life," Hole wrote. He added: "Our government is preparing for civil unrest right now. I've seen documentation that states people will be considered terrorists if they wear blue jeans and talk excessively about the constitution. You're thinking I'm a kook, right? Look it up and you'll find it to be true."
So are you thinking that Hole and the Santa Clarita members of the meet-up group are kooks? Do you think, as Hole's uncle believes, that America is on the road to socialism? And if you are a Beck fan, do you think the people interviewed in Lopez's column reflect your beliefs?
Also, what do you think of Beck? Do you think that this is all an act for TV ratings? Or do you think he truly believes that the mixed-race president is a racist who has "a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture"?
Oh, it's all an act.
How many people actually realize that this is a man who, like Sean Hannity, like any number of "conservative" talk show hosts, came up through radio and adopted a "conservative" viewpoint in order to fit the format of the station they were working for?
If you trace the origins of any of these media personalities, you discover that, all of a sudden, one day, almost entirely out of the blue, they became political, and conservative, and experts and respected--and that the only reason why you know who they are today is because their transformation was followed by enough ratings success to propel them out of whatever podunk rut they were in.
These men and women are broadcasters. You know their names because they survived to move on to higher positions and better jobs within the media. To a person, they are not "conservatives" or even "Republicans." People like myself who have worked all of our lives and actually voted Republican and donated money to Republican Party politicians and organizations can tell you, categorically, that real Republicans don't go to work in the radio business--it doesn't pay enough. We work on Wall Street or in banking or finance or as managers. We don't spin records and yap into microphones all day.
People like Glenn Beck are laughing at you, because no one gets it--they're playing a part. They don't believe anything they say. The men with wives--trust me on this--the men with wives would never get away with saying such things in the presence of a woman--they'd be thrown out the door.
Relax and have a good laugh at Beck's expense. If it were up to him, he'd rather make a few million a year talking about his encyclopedic knowledge of war atrocities, Dutch ovens, umbrella stands, bootleg Steely Dan records, his ant farm or antique cars made of butter.
A Nation of Fornicating Hobos
Pump Your Own Gas, Why Not?
My Father used to sit in front of three color televisions and rail at the news, rail at what was being said, and rail at the fact that two of the televisions were always showing old movies. I don't think he quite understood that, if one is going to rail against the news or current events, one should do so when the news is actually on.
In the olden days, the news was on once a day. If you missed it, you were out of luck. Too bad, no one cares, the news is over, go yell at the sand you're pounding.
The world was better then. I have no evidence to back that up, I'm just telling you--when the news was delivered to people either through the newspaper, over the radio, or once a day for fifteen minutes or a half an hour, the American people were a heck of a lot less distracted and they were a heck of a lot more well informed. Something about reading, perhaps? Reading well-written newspaper stories and articles? And magazines? Walter Cronkite gave up trying to talk to the American people in 1981, not because he wanted to, but because, by then, there was no point in trying to inform a bunch of braying jackasses who were only interested in tits, ass and money. I do know that everything since then has been sliding down a steep hill, gaining speed and getting worse. Why? No idea.
I do know this--we are now a nation of misinformed, gibbering chowderheads. It all started to go south when the owners and operators of gas pumps figured out that smart people like myself were able to manipulate the gas pumps and steal small amounts of gas--they went to those "island card readers" and started trying to catch people who were stealing their precious gas. Pretty soon, every gas pump jockey in the country was demanding something so ridiculous as to not be believed--that we should stop stealing their gas and pay for it up front. Back then, you had to be slick to steal gas, slick and sly and quick with the old handles. Once that went away, people would just use stolen credit cards or Monopoly money, or shotguns, and the talent and skill that went into stealing gas dissipated into nothing. Go ahead, go and try to steal some gas. I'll wait for you.
Can't do it, can you? Well, at one time, all you had to do was be quicker than the pump jockey and have a folded five dollar bill and an oil rag of your own--I won't bore you with the details, trust me--it worked like a charm. That's all gone now. Stealing a few dollars worth of gas has become part of the folklore, the distant past, the diminishing horizon line of our subjective unconscious. Look, there it goes, along with driving in the ditch, eating plain hamburgers, Mr. Pibb, soda pop in a glass bottle, Johnny Carson, and naked lady vinyl album covers.
We are idiot nation. We are the morons our parents told us we would be. We are doomed to live a life of preening ignorance, overinformed delusion, and batshit crazy opinions will become the conventional wisdom in mere tweets.
We need not become fools who amuse ourselves. We could cowboy up, toughen up, and put on a hat. We could ride out the storm and make this a better country. Instead, Americans are behaving like animals. If this doesn't point to the breakdown of society, I'm sure something will come along in fifteen minutes or so to back me up:
A tender moment in a trash bin went all wrong for a couple who found themselves being held up at pocket knifepoint. Police said two 44-year-olds had climbed into a dumpster to be alone just after 6 p.m. Saturday when two men interrupted them and demanded their belongings. Officers said the man and woman were engaged in "an intimate moment" when they were robbed of their shoes, jewelry and the man's wallet.Police said one of the robbers was a 64-year-old man who egged his 59-year-old companion on during the robbery.The suspects were found a short time later and the stolen property was returned.
Now, let's analyze this. Wichita, Kansas--why the hell would anyone live there? Get the hell out of Dodge, sir. That's where that saying came from, Dodge, Kansas, right? I'm on a roll--someone else can go look that up.
Boy meets girl. They decide to have sex. Trash bin? Makes sense to me. But, wait a minute--where's the romance? Ain't got none. We're in Wichita. We're dum, with a capital 3. Trash bin covers up the shame of being naked in public. Animal instincts take over. Oooh, baby. You got what I need. Are there lubricants? I want a cookie now. Hey, what's that sound? Everybody, look what's going on--robbers!
It's like something out of a Charles Dickens novel that never got published because it stunk.
How pathetic do you have to be to have sex in a trash bin? Well, not quite as pathetic as the person who gets a buddy and robs two people having sex in a trash bin, and then runs away like a stumblebum, only to get caught by a Wichita, Kansas lawman. You have to be stupid to live in Wichita, and you have to be pathetic to have sex in a trash bin in Wichita, and you have to really be living down in the gutter to be the guy who robs the two people having sex in the trash bin, and you have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to be the helper for the guy who has the bright idea to rob that fornicating pair of losers, but at the bottom of the foodchain? The bottom of the foodchain is where you find the Johnny Law who has to stop doing whatever it was he was doing and chase the two doorknobs who robbed the fornicating hobos and catch them and then hand back the wallet, the jewelry, and the shoes--the shoes!--to the people who got robbed and then fill out the paperwork explaining all of this. Right below that person is the file clerk at the Johnny Law station who has to enter that information into a computer so that it can be archived in something like, I don't know, PeopleSoft version 9.0 or something like that, so that, 118 years from now, a futuristic database programmer can look at that miniscule piece of insignificant data and delete it.
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